Today was a good day. It was a hard day and I think it could have been better if I had tried a little harder. I gave into temptation today and ate chips and candy. Not very much of either, but enough to make me feel bummed out about giving in. I already knew when I started this journey that my "rules" would be more like guidelines and my goal was to be able to keep them all by the end of the challenge, it's like I'm working up to being able to do it all. But right now I just can't.
My mom asked me today if I thought that this was improving my relationship with God and I told her yes. I figured out after I said that that that isn't always true. The days I've embraced the challenge have been the ones that God has worked in and where I can feel him moving. The days where I am just wanting to give in and focusing on my own trying to push through are the days where God is far away. Sadly, today was one of those days. But my God is a merciful God and although I didn't pass the test today, he can still Test me and Try me.
Speaking of testing and trying, it's time for Bible Verse #2. I'm thinking about it and I'm thinking that I will memorize Phillipians 4:8 this time. I have always wantedto memorize it and while this challenge is happening I'd love to have it pop into my brain when I am tempted to break my rules.
The verse is:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Phillipians 4:8
The one I have memorized is:
Test me O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind. Your lntinue fore me as I walk coninuously in your truth. Psalm 27:3
I love God and I really feel I wouldn't be enduring this (although not hard compared to others) if it weren't something I felt he wanted me to experience. My mom seems to tnink that this is not from god and I have a hard time thinking that it wouold happen. Anyway my eyes can no longer stay open. continue later.......
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
DAY 7,8 & 9
I appologize to my imaginary readers for the lack of posts for these days, on the days they were. Day 7 the server was down when I wanted to post. It was a bummer because cool stuff happend that day and I wanted to talk about it. The other two days I just saved my journaling to the end of the day and fell asleep before I could post.
So, just to catch up, I will write the highlights from each day.
DAY 7
-A REALLY good day. I had a great morning talking about God with my mom. The book Total Truth that I'm currently reading is so full of great information, thoughts and ideas. I was telling mom about them and we had such a great talk. Then I went to class (and class was just class) and then came home and had lunch with my grandparents before going back to school again. After school, me and my friend Bre went to Twin Lake's Church's College Group. It was so fun! I really am loving it there and I love the teaching. That nights topic was on pornography and mastrubation, two very uncomfortable not-often-talked-about subjects. But the speaker was just chosen by God good, and we had such a great talk about it and how bad it is to become desensitized to sex when it's meant to be a special gift shared between husband and wife. Then we split into girls and guys, and we found out that maybe 5 of the girls had had boyfriends who were addicted to porn and it ruined their relationship. It was such an eye-opening thing for me because I hadn't really realized it was as big of a problem in today's society. We had a strong moment of praying for each other and the guys in our group to noy be tempted by it and to be able to free themselves from the addiction if they had it. It was really cool.
I also had a great talk with Bre about secondary virginity on the way home and she told me SHE'S THINKING ABOUT BECOMING A SECONDARY VIRGIN! How good is God? Seriously! I mean, this girl has slept with so many guys, just had a misscarriage, and suddenly she's coming to college group and wanting to stop having sex. GOD IS DOING A WORK IN HER AND I AM SO SO SO EXCITED!!!
DAY 8
Nothing too amazing happened that day. Main thing was I was able to talk to Hallie about Halloween a little and warn her about it's dark side. She didn't really like what I had to say about it, but she still listened all the same. I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time, and I got my hair done as well. It was a good little beauty day. I feel very pretty now!
DAY 9
That brings us to today. I have almost been on this journey for 10 DAYS! It feels like it's been so much longer and it's amazing because I feel different already. I'm seeing God move so much more in my life and I am loving every minute I have to spend with Him. I can't say I'm following the rules perfectly, but I am trying. It was so hard at one point today not to just give in and turn on the TV. I wanted to so bad. Just to relax. But then I was "Test me O Lord and Try me, examine my heart and my mind for your love is ever before me and I walk continuously in Your truth." Psalm 27:3. Actually I was just "Test me Oh Lord and Try me" but I wanted to let ya'll know that I know the first memory verse ONE DAY EARLY! I've actually known it since probably Day 6 ot Day 7 by heart and I am so happy to have it in my heart because whenever I want to stop this challenge I think of it and it keeps me going.
At some point, I think on Friday, I JOINED A GYM! My first workout session with trainer is on next Thursday at 2. They told me to come in before then to do a little workout on the eliptical though, and I plan to do that Monday. I looked at it and I wanted to cry because of my absolute hate for excersise, but then I remembered Test me Oh Lord and Try me. It's good to be fit pnysically for God so then I'm ready for whatever physically demanding thing He sends my way.
Well, that's all I have to say for tonight! Tommorow's Day 10. Super excited!
So, just to catch up, I will write the highlights from each day.
DAY 7
-A REALLY good day. I had a great morning talking about God with my mom. The book Total Truth that I'm currently reading is so full of great information, thoughts and ideas. I was telling mom about them and we had such a great talk. Then I went to class (and class was just class) and then came home and had lunch with my grandparents before going back to school again. After school, me and my friend Bre went to Twin Lake's Church's College Group. It was so fun! I really am loving it there and I love the teaching. That nights topic was on pornography and mastrubation, two very uncomfortable not-often-talked-about subjects. But the speaker was just chosen by God good, and we had such a great talk about it and how bad it is to become desensitized to sex when it's meant to be a special gift shared between husband and wife. Then we split into girls and guys, and we found out that maybe 5 of the girls had had boyfriends who were addicted to porn and it ruined their relationship. It was such an eye-opening thing for me because I hadn't really realized it was as big of a problem in today's society. We had a strong moment of praying for each other and the guys in our group to noy be tempted by it and to be able to free themselves from the addiction if they had it. It was really cool.
I also had a great talk with Bre about secondary virginity on the way home and she told me SHE'S THINKING ABOUT BECOMING A SECONDARY VIRGIN! How good is God? Seriously! I mean, this girl has slept with so many guys, just had a misscarriage, and suddenly she's coming to college group and wanting to stop having sex. GOD IS DOING A WORK IN HER AND I AM SO SO SO EXCITED!!!
DAY 8
Nothing too amazing happened that day. Main thing was I was able to talk to Hallie about Halloween a little and warn her about it's dark side. She didn't really like what I had to say about it, but she still listened all the same. I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time, and I got my hair done as well. It was a good little beauty day. I feel very pretty now!
DAY 9
That brings us to today. I have almost been on this journey for 10 DAYS! It feels like it's been so much longer and it's amazing because I feel different already. I'm seeing God move so much more in my life and I am loving every minute I have to spend with Him. I can't say I'm following the rules perfectly, but I am trying. It was so hard at one point today not to just give in and turn on the TV. I wanted to so bad. Just to relax. But then I was "Test me O Lord and Try me, examine my heart and my mind for your love is ever before me and I walk continuously in Your truth." Psalm 27:3. Actually I was just "Test me Oh Lord and Try me" but I wanted to let ya'll know that I know the first memory verse ONE DAY EARLY! I've actually known it since probably Day 6 ot Day 7 by heart and I am so happy to have it in my heart because whenever I want to stop this challenge I think of it and it keeps me going.
At some point, I think on Friday, I JOINED A GYM! My first workout session with trainer is on next Thursday at 2. They told me to come in before then to do a little workout on the eliptical though, and I plan to do that Monday. I looked at it and I wanted to cry because of my absolute hate for excersise, but then I remembered Test me Oh Lord and Try me. It's good to be fit pnysically for God so then I'm ready for whatever physically demanding thing He sends my way.
Well, that's all I have to say for tonight! Tommorow's Day 10. Super excited!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
DAY 6
I never know exactly how to start this each day. I always feel in the beginning like everyone cares what I’m going to say and want to know if today was a good day or a bad day. It’s funny that I say everyone when no one follows this blog. But, I always have to write to an audience or else it’s no fun. And I’m okay having an imaginary audience.
Today was a GREAT day. It just got better and better as it went on. I started my day with breakfast and bible time, got out early from both my classes, listened to 2 GREAT Erwin McManus sermons, went to college group and really dug into a heavy topic and God used me to talk to my friend about a huge issue in her life!
I’ll talk about this more later (it’s almost midnight right now) but I am amazed at the shift my relationship with God has taken since I decided He could be in control. It is so worth it to allow Him to take charge! I love it!
Did well on all the rules except for water and chips. Didn’t get to all the water although got up to probably around 50 oz. I also ate chips because for dinner at College Night all there was to eat were enchilada’s and chips with guacamole, sour cream, and salsa dip. I took it, wanting to have a filling meal. I barely ate some chips and was very careful not to eat too much. The meal was very good.
God is creating something new in me. It’s exciting and I will talk more about it later (Tommorow AM). My eyes are drooping shut as I type. God Is Good and I love Him!
Today was a GREAT day. It just got better and better as it went on. I started my day with breakfast and bible time, got out early from both my classes, listened to 2 GREAT Erwin McManus sermons, went to college group and really dug into a heavy topic and God used me to talk to my friend about a huge issue in her life!
I’ll talk about this more later (it’s almost midnight right now) but I am amazed at the shift my relationship with God has taken since I decided He could be in control. It is so worth it to allow Him to take charge! I love it!
Did well on all the rules except for water and chips. Didn’t get to all the water although got up to probably around 50 oz. I also ate chips because for dinner at College Night all there was to eat were enchilada’s and chips with guacamole, sour cream, and salsa dip. I took it, wanting to have a filling meal. I barely ate some chips and was very careful not to eat too much. The meal was very good.
God is creating something new in me. It’s exciting and I will talk more about it later (Tommorow AM). My eyes are drooping shut as I type. God Is Good and I love Him!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
DAY 5
Another day has passed and I can say this day was even harder than yesterday. I did a better job today on eating my 3 meals (I got two in and some popcorn for dinner) and I am still faithfully not watching TV (unless all family watches) and not going on computer (except for email and this). Wasn't so great with the water thing. I drank 40 oz. today, although it's not too late to drink 30 more tonight! That just means going pee all kinds in the morning.
I had more problems today spiritually. I felt like God was far away all day today. I prayed and I read my bible hoping to hear His voice, to feel him near, but I didn't. Then in the car on my way to school, I turned on an Ian McManus sermon (the one sermon a week I listen to besides church) and it was a sermon about prayer. It was interesting because he spoke a lot about control and routine and that's the two main things with prayer: People try to control it so they can get what they want, and they get so stuck in their routines and the way they pray that they can't hear God speaking to them.
That was when I realized that that's me. I am always wanting control lately and I think that is why my relationship with God is suffering. And when I'm honest, I can admit that I don't always see God as this fierce, mighty, holy God. I'm more into the cuddly loving it's all okay God. But that's not who Gos is. I put God in this box like Tom Kirkendall was talking about. He brought an amazon box with him and talked about how much we are missing out on if we put God in a box. That was all I could think about as I listened to that sermon. So when I was ready, in the bathroom during my ECE class I just said: "God, I want to free you from your box in my life. You are in control, not me." It was such a beautiful feeling to give back to God what is His, that's me. I feel hopeful the 100 Day Journey will get easier and am excited to see and understnad how to have a relationship with God as He really is and not how I create him to be. So many thougbts running through my head, I'm praying God will lead the way on this journey, noy me. It's all about Hum and I give Him the glory!
I had more problems today spiritually. I felt like God was far away all day today. I prayed and I read my bible hoping to hear His voice, to feel him near, but I didn't. Then in the car on my way to school, I turned on an Ian McManus sermon (the one sermon a week I listen to besides church) and it was a sermon about prayer. It was interesting because he spoke a lot about control and routine and that's the two main things with prayer: People try to control it so they can get what they want, and they get so stuck in their routines and the way they pray that they can't hear God speaking to them.
That was when I realized that that's me. I am always wanting control lately and I think that is why my relationship with God is suffering. And when I'm honest, I can admit that I don't always see God as this fierce, mighty, holy God. I'm more into the cuddly loving it's all okay God. But that's not who Gos is. I put God in this box like Tom Kirkendall was talking about. He brought an amazon box with him and talked about how much we are missing out on if we put God in a box. That was all I could think about as I listened to that sermon. So when I was ready, in the bathroom during my ECE class I just said: "God, I want to free you from your box in my life. You are in control, not me." It was such a beautiful feeling to give back to God what is His, that's me. I feel hopeful the 100 Day Journey will get easier and am excited to see and understnad how to have a relationship with God as He really is and not how I create him to be. So many thougbts running through my head, I'm praying God will lead the way on this journey, noy me. It's all about Hum and I give Him the glory!
Monday, October 19, 2009
DAY 4
Today was really tough, in fact, I broke some of the rules today. While part of me is bummed about that, I decided before I did this that these rules I made were not concrete. They are things I am striving to have as concrete by the end of the challenge, but for now they are more like serious goals. I was unable to eat three home-cooked meals today, I only had two meals today and only one was at home. I had Subway for dinner because I had to go straight from class a class that ended at 5:00 to TASK team which went until around 7:30 (didn’t get home until 8:00) and I hadn’t had anything to eat since noon. I knew that while it’d be healthier to eat something at home, I also knew that wasn’t going to happen. And if I couldn’t get something to eat from home, eating out was the only healthy option, because depriving yourself of food when you need it is the worst thing you can do to your body. So rather than eating fast food or something totally junkie I had a sandwich from Subway. Not totally healthy, but healthier than fast food. I decided next Monday I will pack myself a lunch so I won’t be going against anything.
Other than the food incident, everything was going great until tonight. I got home, and all I wanted to do was watch TV. I had such a strong urge to do what I usually do, it was overwhelming. I went into my room for a little while and prayed but then I didn’t know what to do. So I hung out in the kitchen/living room area with my family as my mom made sugar cookies and my dad watched sports. Jack, my brother invited me to watch a short TV show with him which I allowed because he was inviting me to do it and it wasn’t me being lazy and vegging out, just watching a short TV show with my brother. It was fun and took a little of the edge off of wanting to watch TV so bad.
I think that on a good day, I used to spend probably 2-5 hours watching TV and probably 2-4 hours on the computer. Today, and all of the days of the challenge, I have spent probably an hour of time on TV and computer combined. It’s so different and SO hard. I really don’t like it right now. But I know this is important and right now, God is just testing my endurance! Test me and Try me O, God! I know in the end, this is all going to be worth it and I praise God for that and give Him praise! Even in these first 4 days, my joy has increased which I figure means God is inhabiting me more and more.
My two biggest challenges right now are listening for his voice and talking to Him. Not because it’s hard necessarily (although sometimes that is the case) but because it’s a little dry right now. My first 2 or 3 prayer times were super powerful, but the one I started today was very dry and I almost felt like not talking because I felt like no one was listening. And listening is hard because of what I’m hearing. The night that Twin Lakes College Group talked about listening for God’s voice ( right before the journey began) I heard God tell me “Just be.” That was a bummer because I wanted Him to say “Go I want to send you to…” Then today I felt like He said “Don’t compartmentalize me” which I feel has been happening a lot. I am trying to figure out how to not be so regimen and take God out of the box I’m keeping him in sometimes and it’s hard. God is so much bigger than what I’m thinking and I’m also realizing how selfish and entitled feeling I am. I’m always asking God for something! I want to learn to praise God!
So today was hard, but tomorrow will be way better. I am learning more each new day, and I’m still up for the challenge. I take joy in the trials coming my way because I know it means there is a battle going on and I know God is trying to help me mature into the on-fire for Jesus person I so want to be. Thank you God! To You be the Glory!
Other than the food incident, everything was going great until tonight. I got home, and all I wanted to do was watch TV. I had such a strong urge to do what I usually do, it was overwhelming. I went into my room for a little while and prayed but then I didn’t know what to do. So I hung out in the kitchen/living room area with my family as my mom made sugar cookies and my dad watched sports. Jack, my brother invited me to watch a short TV show with him which I allowed because he was inviting me to do it and it wasn’t me being lazy and vegging out, just watching a short TV show with my brother. It was fun and took a little of the edge off of wanting to watch TV so bad.
I think that on a good day, I used to spend probably 2-5 hours watching TV and probably 2-4 hours on the computer. Today, and all of the days of the challenge, I have spent probably an hour of time on TV and computer combined. It’s so different and SO hard. I really don’t like it right now. But I know this is important and right now, God is just testing my endurance! Test me and Try me O, God! I know in the end, this is all going to be worth it and I praise God for that and give Him praise! Even in these first 4 days, my joy has increased which I figure means God is inhabiting me more and more.
My two biggest challenges right now are listening for his voice and talking to Him. Not because it’s hard necessarily (although sometimes that is the case) but because it’s a little dry right now. My first 2 or 3 prayer times were super powerful, but the one I started today was very dry and I almost felt like not talking because I felt like no one was listening. And listening is hard because of what I’m hearing. The night that Twin Lakes College Group talked about listening for God’s voice ( right before the journey began) I heard God tell me “Just be.” That was a bummer because I wanted Him to say “Go I want to send you to…” Then today I felt like He said “Don’t compartmentalize me” which I feel has been happening a lot. I am trying to figure out how to not be so regimen and take God out of the box I’m keeping him in sometimes and it’s hard. God is so much bigger than what I’m thinking and I’m also realizing how selfish and entitled feeling I am. I’m always asking God for something! I want to learn to praise God!
So today was hard, but tomorrow will be way better. I am learning more each new day, and I’m still up for the challenge. I take joy in the trials coming my way because I know it means there is a battle going on and I know God is trying to help me mature into the on-fire for Jesus person I so want to be. Thank you God! To You be the Glory!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
DAY 3
Another day down and this one was a GOOD one! I’m having to do some things last minute because of today, such as down somewhere around 40 oz. of water before I go to bed (that should be fun) and pray (hopefully I can last an hour tonight!)
I know exactly what I’m praying for tonight though and it’s friendships, all friendships. I had some that blossomed today and some that are in need of a little attention. I have these two friends from church, Caylee and Lani and they are both really close to one another, but not so much with me. Today I invited them over to my house to tie dye shirts. I learned how at a summer camp I worked at a few years ago and I really wanted to tie dye some clothes. My cousin, Timmy, also joined us. He promised my dad he’d come eat lunch with us the next time he came to church and that was this week. He just happened to have a white shirt on that he chose to tie dye. Besides shirts, we also tie dyed socks and Caylee brought some tighty whitey underwear she wanted to tie dye and give as a joke to her friend. It was so much fun, and I think everyone enjoyed it. It was a wonderful way to get back into the friendship sphere with Caylee and Lani and it was really cool to get to hang out with Timmy too.
As for the friendship that needs attention, it’s the one with my best friend, Hallie. I love her so much, but I’m struggling with her a little. She is so distant right now because of work and I can never get ahold of her because she’s working (that makes me more able to understand how she felt during the summer when I had a job. She didn’t complain nearly as much as I have about her, she really is a great friend to me). Also, she works at a Halloween Store. And, honestly, I’m not okay with it. I am turning more and more anti-halloween every year. It has so much EVIL surrounding it. Demons and Witches and Vampires, Oh my! It’s one thing when you’re young and dressing up as Buzz Lightyear or a Disney Princess and getting candy. But when I know in my heart the intense spiritual battle that is going on around me where God and the devil are fighting for people’s souls everyday, I can’t partake in a holiday that glorifies the evil side, the devil. And the thing is, Hallie loves halloween. I just have a hard time with it because she wants me to dress up and partake in the holiday, but I don’t want to.
The main reason I’m mad is because of her costume choice this year. She usually is a rock singer which I’m totally for because she does it in a tasteful way and it’s very unique and cool. She is being a dirty cop this year. Her costume is highly immodest and I am infuriated. She says she wants to do it to have some fun, but it worries me because Hallie NEVER does things like this. Her costume screams low self-esteem and “I’m easy, come have sex with me.” I know she wouldn’t do that, but the direction she’s taking worries me a little. The fact is, Hallie is so much better than that and I just want her to be able to realize that her body is pure and sacred and she shouldn’t be defiling her body that way because it not only offends me, her best friend, but it offends God. He sees her as a beautiful jewel and he doesn’t want to see her dressed like that, disrespecting herself and lowering herself to a much less respectable level. She can still have fun in a not-so-risque costume and I’m praying it happens and maybe we get a chance to talk about it. I just love her so much, and I’ve watched so many others take the road of lowering their standards to go out and “have some fun” and it’s proven devastating to them. I don’t want Hallie to go through anything remotely like that. God is in control though, and I will choose to give that up to Him.
I know exactly what I’m praying for tonight though and it’s friendships, all friendships. I had some that blossomed today and some that are in need of a little attention. I have these two friends from church, Caylee and Lani and they are both really close to one another, but not so much with me. Today I invited them over to my house to tie dye shirts. I learned how at a summer camp I worked at a few years ago and I really wanted to tie dye some clothes. My cousin, Timmy, also joined us. He promised my dad he’d come eat lunch with us the next time he came to church and that was this week. He just happened to have a white shirt on that he chose to tie dye. Besides shirts, we also tie dyed socks and Caylee brought some tighty whitey underwear she wanted to tie dye and give as a joke to her friend. It was so much fun, and I think everyone enjoyed it. It was a wonderful way to get back into the friendship sphere with Caylee and Lani and it was really cool to get to hang out with Timmy too.
As for the friendship that needs attention, it’s the one with my best friend, Hallie. I love her so much, but I’m struggling with her a little. She is so distant right now because of work and I can never get ahold of her because she’s working (that makes me more able to understand how she felt during the summer when I had a job. She didn’t complain nearly as much as I have about her, she really is a great friend to me). Also, she works at a Halloween Store. And, honestly, I’m not okay with it. I am turning more and more anti-halloween every year. It has so much EVIL surrounding it. Demons and Witches and Vampires, Oh my! It’s one thing when you’re young and dressing up as Buzz Lightyear or a Disney Princess and getting candy. But when I know in my heart the intense spiritual battle that is going on around me where God and the devil are fighting for people’s souls everyday, I can’t partake in a holiday that glorifies the evil side, the devil. And the thing is, Hallie loves halloween. I just have a hard time with it because she wants me to dress up and partake in the holiday, but I don’t want to.
The main reason I’m mad is because of her costume choice this year. She usually is a rock singer which I’m totally for because she does it in a tasteful way and it’s very unique and cool. She is being a dirty cop this year. Her costume is highly immodest and I am infuriated. She says she wants to do it to have some fun, but it worries me because Hallie NEVER does things like this. Her costume screams low self-esteem and “I’m easy, come have sex with me.” I know she wouldn’t do that, but the direction she’s taking worries me a little. The fact is, Hallie is so much better than that and I just want her to be able to realize that her body is pure and sacred and she shouldn’t be defiling her body that way because it not only offends me, her best friend, but it offends God. He sees her as a beautiful jewel and he doesn’t want to see her dressed like that, disrespecting herself and lowering herself to a much less respectable level. She can still have fun in a not-so-risque costume and I’m praying it happens and maybe we get a chance to talk about it. I just love her so much, and I’ve watched so many others take the road of lowering their standards to go out and “have some fun” and it’s proven devastating to them. I don’t want Hallie to go through anything remotely like that. God is in control though, and I will choose to give that up to Him.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
DAY 2
I’ve made it through another day! Although I can say for sure that it was much harder than the first. All throughout today, I kept finding myself almost breaking the rules, almost eating a piece of chocolate, almost going on the internet, almost watching mindless TV by myself. But I’m proud to say I didn’t give into the temptation! Instead, I read some of Total Truth, cleaned my room, did Homework and then went out to hang out with my bff’s Hallie and Joanna.
I did go on the computer once today besides now and email (I’ve decided email is ok because I might have doula client’s inquiring of my services) to look up a video on Youtube of Kermit the Frog. My friend Joanna was trying to do an impression of him and we couldn’t remember what he sounded like. Joanna’s impression, although a good effort was a little pathetic but a good attempt and it really made us laugh! I had a fun night though and was happy to be out of the house for awhile with my bff’s.
One thing I haven’t done yet is prayed for an hour. I really enjoyed my last prayer time, but, seeing it’s 11:35 pm, I don’t think I’ll be able to last that long. The point is to have a serious prayer ritual by the end of this though, so it’s okay if I don’t go the full hour. I do think it’ll still be at least 30 minutes because it takes me a long time to get my thoughts together.
I have a dilemma regarding working out. I thought that joining a gym would cost me $50 for a year. It’s actually $40/month. I SO can’t afford that! But I really want to join a gym and get fit so I’m in the process of seeing what other places charge and my last resort will be creating my own workout plan. I’d really rather have a gym though.
Ok time to sleep. Actually pray, read bible, then sleep! I have more deep insightful things to tell, I promise! It’s just going to have to wait until I’m not so tired and I don’t still have things to do! Goodnight!
I’ve made it through another day! Although I can say for sure that it was much harder than the first. All throughout today, I kept finding myself almost breaking the rules, almost eating a piece of chocolate, almost going on the internet, almost watching mindless TV by myself. But I’m proud to say I didn’t give into the temptation! Instead, I read some of Total Truth, cleaned my room, did Homework and then went out to hang out with my bff’s Hallie and Joanna.
I did go on the computer once today besides now and email (I’ve decided email is ok because I might have doula client’s inquiring of my services) to look up a video on Youtube of Kermit the Frog. My friend Joanna was trying to do an impression of him and we couldn’t remember what he sounded like. Joanna’s impression, although a good effort was a little pathetic but a good attempt and it really made us laugh! I had a fun night though and was happy to be out of the house for awhile with my bff’s.
One thing I haven’t done yet is prayed for an hour. I really enjoyed my last prayer time, but, seeing it’s 11:35 pm, I don’t think I’ll be able to last that long. The point is to have a serious prayer ritual by the end of this though, so it’s okay if I don’t go the full hour. I do think it’ll still be at least 30 minutes because it takes me a long time to get my thoughts together.
I have a dilemma regarding working out. I thought that joining a gym would cost me $50 for a year. It’s actually $40/month. I SO can’t afford that! But I really want to join a gym and get fit so I’m in the process of seeing what other places charge and my last resort will be creating my own workout plan. I’d really rather have a gym though.
Ok time to sleep. Actually pray, read bible, then sleep! I have more deep insightful things to tell, I promise! It’s just going to have to wait until I’m not so tired and I don’t still have things to do! Goodnight!
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